Excerpt

The need to make artwork.... it's a struggle these days
The fullness is gone, I'm deflated by her removal.
It's sad to be so in love with such an oblivious person.
The clue she lacks is the clue I have.
But when she is gone there is no place to put myself, I am naked to my mortality.
Damnit
I don't want to think about this.
I don't want the love anymore, she has proven the uselessness of it.
It has to be looked at, I think.
But.... I've been looking at it for months... weeks
I feel pathetic, worthless, weak.

Trudging through the days, it seems endless.
When will the zombie wake up from the death dream?
Wake from the dream of oblivion.
The endless struggle continues and I'm not sure I will survive this time intact.
I am falling apart all of the time and struggling to rebuild myself as I go.
The standard cycle. It gets very tiring.