And here is the reply I made to the previous bitchfest. She actually left the text file open on her computer, as if she wanted me to find it just to see my reaction. I think she was pretty manipulative.
Did you expect me to find this?
If you feel this way then go ahead and fuck someone else, FEEL FREE. Can't you see that I'm not stopping you????
I am scared that you actually DID fuck Dan tonight. When you asked for me to come over this was what was in my thoughts... "Oh, shit... what did SHE DO?"
You see... You really aren't ready for a committed relationship if you are saying to yourself "I could be fucking some other guy right now and he would never know it." I'll suggest it again... WHAT'S STOPPING YOU? Why the fuck am I even here trying to talk to you when you can say shit like that???? Do you know what the fuck you are doing in this relationship? Are you even here because you want to be? Do you even want me around? It does not seem so! I don't even think you know who I am to you at this point. I feel like I'm in the process of really being fucked over.
I feel like a TOOL.
How can I trust you when you can't even trust yourself?
You don't even believe me, I feel like I've just been wasting my time with this....
If it so much easier for you then I'll up and leave!
Just break up with me if that's the easy way out. You don't owe me anything, you know. I gave it all for free. there's no cost-benefit ratio waiting in the mail, there's no bill that needs to be paid at the end of the month.
I can't wait for you to figure out WTF you really want in life. I can't even wait for you to figure out if your life is even really worth living.
I'm sick of the weird co-dependent guilt situations you create for me... the situation with the house is NOT my problem, I help when I can. You say that when I am over Elijah makes more of a mess. Well, how come the house was a fucking wreck and I had not been over for like 3 days? ummm... OK! That makes alot of sense. This transferal of blame shit is really irritating. What if it's nobody's fault at all? Quit blaming people for shit that just happens.
You can't keep blaming all this random shit on something or someone else. This is *your* life, YOU alone have responsibility for your decisions. Quit living other people's expectations.
I absolutely can not live with you if you are really like this. Break free of whatever it is... and start living for yourself, please. I really love you, but I'm not fucking bailing you out in a codependent blaze of glory! My life comes first to me, NOT YOURS. OK, princess?
Recollection comes later. 20/20
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