Hardened Stone-Like Thing

You think you remember what it's like when you lose someone, but it's always different every time. However there is one common element. The common element is incredible pain that cannot be described. The pain that people have killed over. The pain they have killed themselves over. People may look at this and think to themselves, "What a weakling". I beg to differ. This introspection is my business. This is my life. This is why I create art, it's the indescribable inside of me.

Now why have I not made too much art over the last 3 years? I guess I was pretty content, huh. heh. I'm laughing at myself here. Anything to get rid of this horrible situation. I don't have time to waste on it. We are all dying every minute of every day of every year. Loss like this is a fact of life and we all need to get used to it sooner or later. I keep telling myself this same crap and I never ever ever get used to it. Every time it's a struggle, do I fight it and keep it inside? Or do I let it out and let it pass away like the tide?

I guess I can look away and smile, knowing I can still feel even after so very long. My life is just beginning. Unfortunately this past time it was extremely hard for me to cry, as if my heart had become a hardened stone-like thing. I think the constant beating and anger I've received over the last 3 years had made it very hard for me to open up. Now to soften up. Find the right girl to live around that I can be my old soft self with.

Sad but true I'm going to have to let go of the love I feel for her. It's just not right, now is it? We both lost something great regardless of what she may say. I pump it up in my mind and give it substance, but honestly I'll never know what she truly feels. When I really think about her all I picture is a Hoovermatic.

OMG, I'm trying to be funny. It's kinda working.