Oh boy, has it ever been a long time.
I guess I have been a bit busy.... for 12 years.
Whew! 🤣
Let's see can I upload images here??
Yes!!!
9.28.2022
1.18.2010
11.07.2009
7.05.2009
Mellow Out Or You Will Pay
A Magical Mystery Tour Of The Psyche With Werner Erhard And est
by Robert Farr
Argus Magazine, December 1980
(Argus was a monthly student magazine at the University of Maryland, College Park.)
Once upon a time in the West, after Howard Hawks had driven cattle through the Rio Grande, but before Gary Cooper pitched his spit-shined badge into the dust, there lived a man named John Paul Rosenberg. Born in 1935 to Jewish-parents-turned-Christian and baptized in the Episcopalian church, Rosenberg was no ordinary fellow.
When 1960 rolled around, cutting through the complacency of the San Francisco Beats, Rosenberg had surreptitiously denied his polite schoolboy upbringing, defied the best in Judeo-Chirstian tradition and quietly folded his napkin before ditching his wife and kids.
By the time he reached age 30, after losing his golden boy look and shying away from public beaches, John was emulating the propagandists who had been exerting an undue influence on the world since the second World War. The likes of Leni Reinfenstahl, D.W. Griffith and Ticktockman were established propagandists, but Rosenberg saw room at the top.
by Robert Farr
Argus Magazine, December 1980
(Argus was a monthly student magazine at the University of Maryland, College Park.)
Once upon a time in the West, after Howard Hawks had driven cattle through the Rio Grande, but before Gary Cooper pitched his spit-shined badge into the dust, there lived a man named John Paul Rosenberg. Born in 1935 to Jewish-parents-turned-Christian and baptized in the Episcopalian church, Rosenberg was no ordinary fellow.
When 1960 rolled around, cutting through the complacency of the San Francisco Beats, Rosenberg had surreptitiously denied his polite schoolboy upbringing, defied the best in Judeo-Chirstian tradition and quietly folded his napkin before ditching his wife and kids.
By the time he reached age 30, after losing his golden boy look and shying away from public beaches, John was emulating the propagandists who had been exerting an undue influence on the world since the second World War. The likes of Leni Reinfenstahl, D.W. Griffith and Ticktockman were established propagandists, but Rosenberg saw room at the top.
6.18.2009
My Journey into Wonderland and how I woke up to find I was in Hell
from Rick Ross -
http://www.rickross.com/reference/landmark/landmark250.html
A Relationship gone horribly wrong with a Landmark Junkie
October 4, 2007
I am writing this story for two reasons, firstly I hope that by doing so I can warn as many people as possible of the dangers of participating in the hoax that is Landmark Education and second that I might be able to be at peace with what I have been through. Before I begin I would like to stress that I am certainly not an individual that is predisposed to being taken in or scammed. My professional life has been spent dealing with complex, multi million, contract negotiations with some of the most effective and highly trained Salesman and Lawyers on the planet. I am quite literally stunned in the way that my money, my heart, my trust and nearly my own sanity has been so cleverly won over and abused by this hellish organisation. I will actually admit I respect them for that, at the same time as loathing their very existence.
http://www.rickross.com/reference/landmark/landmark250.html
A Relationship gone horribly wrong with a Landmark Junkie
October 4, 2007
I am writing this story for two reasons, firstly I hope that by doing so I can warn as many people as possible of the dangers of participating in the hoax that is Landmark Education and second that I might be able to be at peace with what I have been through. Before I begin I would like to stress that I am certainly not an individual that is predisposed to being taken in or scammed. My professional life has been spent dealing with complex, multi million, contract negotiations with some of the most effective and highly trained Salesman and Lawyers on the planet. I am quite literally stunned in the way that my money, my heart, my trust and nearly my own sanity has been so cleverly won over and abused by this hellish organisation. I will actually admit I respect them for that, at the same time as loathing their very existence.
5.01.2009
Perfect Garbage
(Everyone is so afraid to just let everyone know what's swirling around inside. I'm not.)
So particular. Everything has to be perfect. Nothing is good enough, When I dismiss the not good enough I start crying and nothing works. I am hopeless. I am nothing. I am having a moment. I have nothing. I am nothing. I am the nothing.
Nobody understands the depths to which I am there with this mindset. I *AM* the nothing. Such a zen moment. Not really though since I cannot really let go of the feeling I have for her. But it's not there. It's *NOT* there. I have nothing for her. Only her sex remains. And it's feeble at best. It's a shallow garbage feeling surrounded by hormones.
It's so familiar and it's just a garbage feeling.
Surrounded by hormones.
So particular. Everything has to be perfect. Nothing is good enough, When I dismiss the not good enough I start crying and nothing works. I am hopeless. I am nothing. I am having a moment. I have nothing. I am nothing. I am the nothing.
Nobody understands the depths to which I am there with this mindset. I *AM* the nothing. Such a zen moment. Not really though since I cannot really let go of the feeling I have for her. But it's not there. It's *NOT* there. I have nothing for her. Only her sex remains. And it's feeble at best. It's a shallow garbage feeling surrounded by hormones.
It's so familiar and it's just a garbage feeling.
Surrounded by hormones.
4.28.2009
I need to stop thinking.
I think about the stupid shit that happened 3 years ago.. a dream I had, later it would turn out to be one of the biggest nightmares of my life to this point.
Nobody ever said I was sane.
The end of an era ~ it happens in all things. My mom has her own era that is ending as I have my own era that has ended. I prolonged my own end tho. Nobody knows my mom's pain, and nobody knows mine. It's all good, this is the conclusion and everything ends eventually. Some people extend the inevitable and never really realize the fullness of the situation until it happens to them, and then they cannot deal with it.. Crack. Failure. Falling apart.
Maybe I don't know mine.
Fast forward to 2008
I remember driving my Dad to Pizza Hut to go get some stuffed cheese pizza things. I did a fine job that day with the clutch. Dad never noticed which I guess was an approval rating. Thank goodness for those long easy to drive Toyota clutches. The food was ok, but not spectacular. My Dad's wallet had not changed since I last saw it, overstuffed, black leather, too many items.
I remember way too many details and I just cannot quite make them all come together into a cohesive whole.
So melodramatic, so emo once again. Fuck it.
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